I’m pulling up the driveway, when I see my phone light up. My heart starts beating faster. My wife can never know about this. No one can ever know about this. I got into the house, faster than I needed to and did a quick lap, making sure my wife isn’t here. There it is, the adrenaline rush I have been craving for the past week. My wife doesn't know about this. No one can ever know about this. It makes me feel guilty that I am doing something like this without her knowing but I must not let the guilt consume me this time. I walk into the house faster than needed and make sure no one is home. I start my mental checklist. Doors locked? Check. Shades down? Check. There’s something I’m forgetting. Oh right, the laptop. I run upstairs and lock my bedroom door. Okay, okay, I have to calm down, I’m getting too excited. I open my laptop and the latest notification pops up. Lily. “Meet me today at the park. 8PM. I want to meet you :)” No. No, no, no. This isn't a good idea. I can’t do this again to my family. But I really want to meet her. I pace around the bedroom for a good 10 minutes contemplating. Okay, let's make a plan. We’ll go to the park today but I have to end things here. I can't keep going on like this. But I love her. I love talking to her on the phone all night, whispering like teenagers so we don’t get caught. I feel frantic and when my wife and children come home I jump. I need to relax. Nothing bad is going to happen, Lily and I are just going to have a quick talk and it will all be over. It’s 7:45. I gather all of my things and head out of the house. “I’m going out for a drink” I called out to my wife. “On a Tuesday?” I shut the front door without responding. The drive was a complete blur. I park in the parking lot and stare at the dashboard for a little bit. 8:01. 8:02. 8:03. What am I doing? I make myself get out of the car and walk towards the tree. I see the outline of a woman with blond hair. I can tell she got a blow out a few hours ago and I can smell the Chanel perfume from 20 feet away. I tap her shoulder and she turns around quickly. Makeup done perfectly. Lily always knew her way around cosmetic products too well. She’s wearing earrings and a diamond necklace which may look real to some, but not to me. I’m going to miss her. She opens her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. “We need to end things.” I say while holding up my knife.